In their surroundings, you will get to know the … But in order to move on and get past something you need to allow yourself to feel it for what it is--all of the heartbreak and pain--and then you can start to take steps move on. 1 / 7. Anonymous . 1. That happened with me when I joined MBA. Maybe when she’s my age and I'm long gone, she’ll remember something I once said to her — perhaps it was something imparted over a dish of Ben & Jerry’s, or Asian noodles. Friends have a prominent role in our lives. If your soul is compatible with that of another person -- then go ahead and be friends, because age is just a number, people. Where would I be without my Revlon hair dryer or CeraVe skin products?! Some, like my friend, Lelane, had to watch every penny. By the time you reach 50, chances are you’ve made — and lost — your share of friends. They say old friends are the best, and I agree. The differences between older friends and myself allow more room for perspective, and a break from the normality of everyday life. You feel nervous about this event. When they see me fall in to similar traps or situations, they tell me lovingly, yet directly, what is going on. You need to make friends of all age groups. The Value Of Having Friends Older Than You. They didn’t feel that every little aspect of their day was worth sharing. I hope I brighten their lives at least a little bit in comparison to how much they've brightened mine. Although they plan to walk there, you know the lake can be a tricky place to swim. If you aren’t even friends yet, it’s hardly going to progress beyond the superficial. Who knows? Some of these losses are a casualty of divorce or relocation. I guess my conversation is boring her, I thought. Our relationship began with her advising me on my freshman schedule, and this past summer she revealed to me that she was pregnant after telling only her parents, husband, and sister. The Value of Having Friends Older Than You. They don't love you in spite of your mistakes, but because of them. In the weakness of your flesh, he stands ready to uphold you. 7 years ago. I looked through past texts to find some moments to cite these bonds, and unsurprisingly it didn’t take much scrolling. Sign up for membership to become a founding member and help shape HuffPost's next chapter. 1 decade ago. "Join me in Venice," I said, "I'm going there on vacation." That got me thinking though, about how valuable relationships with older people are to me in general. 9) You will ALWAYS have a role model to look up to. "The Wilds" was released on Amazon Prime last month and has been gaining traction steadily since then. She, like Carl, also worked a full-time job at the SF Examiner long past her retirement age. Most of them are gone now. Your friend, who is a year older than you, and a group of his friends are asking you to go to the lake to dive and swim. Each of my old friends had suffered the tragedies and losses that come with longevity. Grade, i only get to see on Saturdays. What's different about hearing these words from juniors and seniors, is that they have already lived through the struggles I’m currently facing. Mixing with older people and having older friends, providing they are reasonably honest and it isn't sexually motivated on their part, can be really nice, older people can be helpful and they often know more about life and have good advice if you want it and can listen. Heck, for that matter my wife is 4 years older than me as well. Sometimes, the little things in life seem the most fascinating and joyous to us compared to the flamboyant luxuries that we perhaps have a wishful desire for. However, if your list did not include a few men or women that are significantly older or younger than you, then you may be missing out. Their stories evoked other eras that were populated with legendary characters. we're just at different stages of life then others. Even if we are not traveling abroad at the moment, we can still travel locally while maintaining social distancing and preventative guidelines. by Ben Henry. Hence there was a huge age gap between us. They have more experiences, I can rely on them for advice. An honest conversation is your priority in interpersonal relationships now – and that’s a good thing! Look no further, I have the perfect recommendation. They are the first breath of freedom. That means your local coffee shop, the local branch of the public library, they local chapter of the Sierra Club, or the local college that offers evening courses. Due to the paramount importance role of friends in our decisions, a heated debate exists over whether which category of them can be more useful. 7 Ways To Make Friends Post 50. And, truthfully, it sucks. You need friends that are your age because, you will have things in common with them and the friends you make in high school and college will be lifelong friends as long as you keep in touch with them. If your soul is compatible with that of another person -- then go ahead and be friends, because age is just a number, people. While we can't have any big Christmas parties or family gatherings, we can still celebrate at home! After completing my first year of college though, I feel certain that it’s more than just a coincidence. Adults usually don’t have weird childhood fixations like this. So, ti;s hard to hang out wiht them. I just hate all the ridiculous drama that 7 th graders stir up. Nobody puts "Baby" in the corner. Flickr: CoffeePartyUSA, Sign up for Next Avenue's weekly newsletter. Some, like my friend Caroline, had money and lived in fancy neighborhoods. Most of the people opt to make decisions after getting advice from others since it allows them to get aware of diverse aspects of the situation. And so I think the second piece of why it’s so much harder to make friends when you’re older is because as adults, we’ve learned to hold back our real selves from each other. I’m 27. Christmas is the best time for nostalgia, and we could all use some warm and fuzzy feelings as we wrap up a tough year and enter a new one that hasn't been proven any calmer, either. The Value Of Having Friends Older Than You. I think they act as father figures. BuzzFeed Staff. you may be mature. The Christmas season is coming to an end, but it's not too late to get some last-minute movies in! You will learn a lot by spending time with the older and more experienced people. Her philosophy of life, as she once explained it to a colleague of mine, was, “I get up, put on my dress, and say yes to everything.”, Once when I was living in New York, I left her a voicemail on her home phone. I would cry in front of my friends if I was feeling sad or upset. My Scrabble pal Carl had once been a gag writer for Groucho Marx. We made it easy for you to exercise your right to vote! As you grow older and life gets a little more hectic, you start to truly value the concept of time. It is a grace of God that the young people in your life have been placed there. In high school I didn’t think much of this consistent trend in my relationships. In your mind, it implies you won’t be taken as seriously, or that you don’t seem as mature or capable as you know yourself to be. 2. Jennifer Kustanovich, SUNY Stony Brook5. For example, I found solace in the office of my high school guidance counselor. Songs About Being 17Grey's Anatomy QuotesVine Quotes4 Leaf CloverSelf Respect, 1. "You can make a joke about anything," he once told me, "as long as the wit overcomes the vulgarity." I look up to them like oldet brothers and sisters, since my real brother is in college. People older than you 30's and beyond are mature as well so you have that in common. Their Gifts Live On Within Us Around 10 people (aside from my spouse and myself) are a fairly close group of friends. Following suit, as I look back on my freshman year, I notice that the majority of my closest friends were juniors and seniors. One afternoon at his home, Carl opened his desk drawer in his den. The older she got, the more beautiful her writing became, winning her awards. This show is unique in characters, storytelling methods, and plot. Having these people as my guideposts makes me a better person. But my two sets of friends were different. Approach this scientifically. And when we feel old, it's nice to be reminded that we still have so far to go. She had been a soprano at the New York Metropolitan Opera in the 1930s, singing under her real name, Lillian Clark. After all, “gray hair is a crown of glory; it is gained in a righteous life” (Proverbs 16:31). This series of 10 one-hour episodes tells the stories of eight girls who find themselves on a deserted island after their plane crashed while they are on their way to a resort. Everyone's been here. But at the same time, I hope it doesn't come across as what you can “get” from your friends. With old friends, you don’t need to see them all the time to feel close. I know when you’re young, the trend is to associate ONLY with people the exact same age as you, but that is a kid thing. All that said, here are seven reasons that the older you get, the fewer friends you have, according to experts. You get along until you don’t. Here are eight reasons why my friends are my most treasured family members: 1. Written by Shana Lebowitz on August 19, 2013. If you’re in your 20s or 30s, it’s the perfect time to have friends who—well—aren’t in their 20s or 30s. However, if your list did not include a few men or women that are significantly older or younger than you, then you may be missing out. Long stretches of time to make mistakes, and fail, and fail again. People have always said I act older than … Definitely wine. When I do, I feel their presences. When I don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, they assure me that it’s there. See, having older friends are equal parts fun and stressful. “Look what I came across the other day,” he said, handing me a typewritten note. You can’t stop time, but you can stop some of the bad habits that cause premature aging, so that when you are 60, you won’t look 75. Friends have a prominent role in our lives. For people like myself, your friends are your family. My old friends took their time revealing the events of their lives. Like this article? When I was in my 20s and 30s, I did a lot of hanging out with people who were the age I am now, and beyond. You have matured quicker than people your own age, nothing wrong with that but always remember it is important to be childish sometimes nd get into trouble because … This, and all the other things that happen when you feel older than you actually are… Via Vincentla Flame. Her saying that is a constant reminder to search for strong mutual affection, and accept nothing less. Getting the advice from friends who are older than you is more valuable than getting that from your peers. So, as a potential remedy for our travel necessity, I have listed 5 alternative ways in which you can relish your traveling desires during this pandemic. Yes, you can have friends who are older than you. That doesn't mean that you don't also need friends closer to your age, there are also advantages to that so don't shy away from them too much. “I got drunk in Paris with them one night,” Carl told me, before returning to the Scrabble board, beating me yet again. I was too young then to grasp many of their deeper meanings. Approach this scientifically. I almost never fit in in 7th grade, cause whenever someone steals something from me, and they tell me someone else stole it. I'm the 31 year old, so all my friends are older than me. What you want is someone to hang with near where you live. You’ve got less time. I lost my father 10 years ago. If you’re the youngest in your crew, this is will make you feel seen. Yet I have 3 friends that are 30 years older than me. Clare Regelbrugge, University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign, Sign in to comment to your favorite stories, participate in your community and interact with your friends. 1. At college, there’s a professor whose family lived at the end of my hall. The co-author of the book What Happy Women Do, Anna Kudak talk about bridging the generation gap and in addition to expanding the circle of friends, spending time with the elderly, strengthen your mental health. There is no age requirement for friendship. Be careful who it is though because you many see it as bonding but unfortunately not all see it like this. Submitted by Delara on Sat, 10/15/2016 - 02:38. And I think that enjoyment works both ways (at least I hope it does). Nobody puts "Baby" in the corner. When I was young, I liked hanging out with older people. You’re weirdly offended when people say you look young. Through experience, I really believe we grow from having people in our lives that are older and younger than us. You, when they use your age against you in the middle of an argument Age teaches us that it’s much better to have few sincere friendships than a ton of superficial ones. 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