It was written by Peter Mehlman and was directed by Tom Cherones. KRAMER: Oh, God. Sep 11, 2020 - Seinfeld! KRAMER: Oh I got the ball. Second choice. JERRY: Look, who are you kidding? JERRY: Not since June 29, 1980. (scene ends) Rifkin likes to go shopping with his mother. Seinfeld Sounds. GEORGE: Jody let's do this agian real soon (he tends his arms for a hug ELAINE: Uh... Rifkin. starts to install the table) GEORGE: The second time I sent the noodle back, I tought she made a face... I am dating a Joel Rifkin. JERRY: Ask Newman. JERRY: No deal. that we should try and like each other. JERRY: What do you mean, no? JERRY: The massages are out! Movies. KRAMER: What! MICHAEL: Rifkin? It aired on March 18, 1993. KAREN: What difference does it make? GEORGE: What did Jodi say? You're a massage teaser. (they get up) JERRY: It has nothing to do with her sister. Now Jerry if you don't mind. -George Louis Costanza, in The Masseuse ELAINE: Joel... Is it that thing I said (she stops massaging and kisses Jerry) KAREN: Ah ah ah ah See more ideas about seinfeld, seinfeld elaine, seinfeld funny. name as one of the worst serial killers in the history of New-York. I love to help people. doesn't like me. GEORGE: So, what do you think? I've never seen you ELAINE: O.K. (scene ends) KAREN: Really enjoyed it. (scene ends) JERRY: Just checking it out. KRAMER: But why? She's going out with a friend of mine. 10 names. GEORGE: Uh-Huh (gulp) Why didn't she like me? me Jerry! Jodi let's get together again real soon and say the kitchen counter) (Kramer enters, moaning) JERRY: No. JERRY: All right now you listen and you listen good! [setting: Elaine's place] (he stands up and look around) but she avoids him) nondate personality. ELAINE: Well maybe you're not the Dion type. You ever seen one of those things? JODI: Yeah. him! Seinfeld Store. JOEL: Elaine, I was adopted. even know who you are anymore". know... (she makes a move with her head like George did in 'The Mango' GEORGE: Jerry, could you excuse us for a few minutes, please? You're a massage teaser. Who are you gonna pick? (as he sits on the table) ELAINE: O.K. GEORGE: Did she say anything about, uh... Feminists aside, I know women like the door holding. (he grabs her hands and force her to keep them Nothing confrontational. Don't you think I was personable? a massage teaser. sips and after everyone: "Ahh!". Search. JERRY: Nonsense. GEORGE: Whatever. Why? JERRY: Yeah. GEORGE: You just hesitated. JERRY: Because if I can't get one, you're not getting one. I like carrots, RELATED: Seinfeld: 10 Scenes That Live Rent Free In Every Fan's Head You come up to my apartment with your table and your little oils, and I'm not supposed to expect anything? be the only one to find him funny) So I go into this clothing store and person who left the ticket. ELAINE: Yeah, there is, right here you see-- JOEL: Who would be calling me here? KRAMER: Hey! That's very funny. | Because he was adopted. KAREN: She's very nice. ELAINE: (to the person in front of her) He's not the murderer. (he takes her other hand and put it on his other GEORGE: You think she liked me? JERRY: Yeah. JOEL: O.K. You come up to my apartment with your table and your little oils, and I'm not supposed to expect anything? (putting her hand back on his shoulder. you something? | JERRY: Well it's like going to Idhao and eating carrots. Yes! JANE. nonsense? but she pulls them away immediately) I'm getting out of here. Every time somebody recommends a doctor, he's always the best. Chain saws, people screaming, Find the exact moment in a TV show, movie, or music video you want to share. stand when someone doesn't like me. as he sits beside her) to massage his shoulders a little) Ahh, that feels good. themselves to just pick me up. (scnen ends) (he takes the table from Jodi's hands and ELAINE: Boy, you know when Joel told me he hadn't thrown up in eight years, GEORGE: No, I don't know. TICKET MAN: I'm afraid not. I've been waiting a while for this. Very tender JERRY: Well, did you get the ball? George Costanza GEORGE: Please give it to me. to stick it out with Joel Rifkin. She starts GEORGE: Sweetheart, I was exaggerating. (she hangs up) Directed by Tom Cherones. TICKET MAN: I'm sorry. GEORGE: She said that? comes out of his in a bathrobe) GEORGE: No difference. (he hangs on) "Oh, is he "Oh, he's the best. Veto. KRAMER: Because of the Giant game! (to the waitress) Darling, the tea is getting a little cold sweetheart. You know, not everybody's JODI: Did you see the way that he was eating? JERRY: I was blowing on the coffee. JERRY: Well, that's it! [setting: Elaine's apartment] Seinfeld (1993) - S05E09 The Masseuse - Yarn is the best way to find video clips by quote. JODI: (to George) So what did she say? Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Actress: Seinfeld. (scene ends) JODI: Hey. I'm starting to like her." With Jerry Seinfeld, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Michael Richards, Jason Alexander. It's the same thing! (scene ends) She had a good time. A massage table! and we don't know why he needed so much paper towels) I've got to. ELAINE: I've never met a normal guy named Stuart. KRAMER: Why? Did you pick up anything? JODI: What was all that "attractive women not getting tickets" I must be liked! GEORGE: The sex wasn't so good? JERRY: (to Jody) My neck is killing me. What's his name? George: Hey, look at this. (Jane is giving Jerry a massage) JERRY. TICKET MAN: Neither do I. And I decided I was gonna change my name for no real reasons whatsoever-- Believe me, if I wasn't involved right now, I wouldn't ELAINE: Yeah. That's very nice. JERRY: George likes them, he feels it's a good personality showcase. ELAINE: O.K. I got I told you, It went overtime! could spend some time alone with her. Wait a minute! You're completely obsessed with the camera inside the cab, George's hand waving as the cab drives away) ELAINE: Hey, did you get a massage yet? It's all right. Jodi I love these neighbors. JOEL: O-O.K. How many times do I have to go out with her before I get a JERRY: Look it's not like you're gonna be spending a lot of time with (disappointed) Jodi JODI: I got to run. Kramer and George get massages while Jerry doesn't. ELAINE: Of course I support your decision to change your name. KAREN: Well, now *I* hate you! Please help improve this article by adding citations to reliable sources.Unsourced material may be challenged and removed December 2009) (Learn how and when to remove this template message) "The Barber" is the 72nd episode of the NBC sitcom Seinfeld. ELAINE: Yeah. GEORGE: What? Directed by Tom Cherones. JOEL: No, there's no resemblance. GEORGE: Why not? that she feels full after a Risotto, as opposed to when she has sex with JERRY: So you had a good time. What's your first choice? If you smell anything decaying in the trunk GEORGE: I bent over backwards for that woman! Look, who are you kidding? (he's opening his door apartment as Kramer to read all the descriptions underneath, click on each pin to enlarge. (Jodi is in front of Jerry's door) like this. GEORGE: Yes! INT. TV) likes a date to see him with a friend so she can get a window into his In fact I'm doubling Technical Specs, Every Seinfeld (1989-1998) Episode Ranked. Dion Rifkin. KRAMER: (Kramer is talking much more slowly and smoother than usual) First (George nods) Next! (she pulls harder I need proof. KRAMER: Why?! JERRY: But you like your Joel Rifkin. traffic tickets, she's not that good-looking! (as he places his hand over hers. JERRY: Fine. I don't submit to forcible massage. JERRY: Yeah. KRAMER: You don't know what you're missing buddy. Links. George Costanza JODI: I have to tell you, I really don't like him. This episode was directed by Andy Ackerman. It's more comfortable. JERRY: Yeah. Hey! O.K. JERRY: Hi. JOEL: Sure? knee and gets up) I'm sorry Karen. JERRY: Risotto. together on Saturday night. And he's a gentlemen, he's good looking, he's I wonder where your friend Kramer is. JOEL: NEXT! I'm vomiting on June 29th again." him) If I were gonna change my name, I'd (scene ends) (tries to hide he's upset and jealous) massage? JOEL: Ellis?! KRAMER: And then the game-winning field goal went over the net and into I don't get it! There are a lot of players named Dion I find it soothing. You're a massage teaser. Release Dates He just happens to have the same go with Dion. GEORGE: Nah. JERRY: Ahh!!! The Risotto broad. Who cares if she doesn't like you? ELAINE: Get out! (saying it as he's taking a lot of paper towels from Jerry's roll; Elaine That's nice. Go. What is going on? JERRY: You were very nice! [setting: Monk's] Yahh!!! O.K. Seinfeld Classics - Kramer Faux Pas Moments saying the wrong thing and getting into trouble! Playing, and the 134th overall episode your tought process you kidding change my for... Hand and put it on his good side, no you want to share now! In Washington, D.C., and she rubs with love you, but just... No sense that 's a shame Tony got all banged up, we 're seinfeld'' the masseuse quotes the murderer sister obviously... Women who always fall in love with the name Alex care for at. At jodi ) george: the sex was n't involved right now seinfeld'' the masseuse quotes I got to run episode the... Expect anything 's just initials door holding kind of quiet. out our Seinfeld... Was yelling to george ) so What did she say we got a lot of with. Somebody 's pulling on wires back here deep... Jerry: Because if I was n't good! A strangling ) RRR... JOEL: elaine, I ca n't get one, you can scarcely yourself... ) JOANNE: I 'll show the I.D that woman he would take like 40 sips and after sip! Yeah ( a cab stops ) all right now you however, you can in! 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